Why, oh why?
When I was growing up, there weren’t many existential eight year olds. Unlike me, the other children didn’t think that the Communist Manifesto was a popular bedtime story.
Well, my saviour was television. I gave it my soul and in return it gave me the Ewings, Doogie Howser and The Wonder Years — lessons in survival, platonic love and how to wear a scrunchie.
If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that America is the land of opportunities, a place where anything is possible. Surely that includes 28 year-old prom queens?