Baseball – a Sport Endorsed by Angels
June 12, 2011 – Day 7
Folks, I’d never understood baseball. Back in the day I would utter blasphemies like – surely the World Series is false advertising, you know what they say about men with big gloves, and isn’t it a bit embarrassing to have rounders as your national sport?.
Well thanks to David and Sarah, old friends I met on Friday (FYI), I went to my first game yesterday, the San Francisco Giants vs. somebody else. And it rocked. To be honest I still don’t know much about baseball. What I do know is that everyone who watches baseball, works in baseball and plays baseball is some sort of angel.
Game changers, seismic shifts and other phrases to denote turning points
I went to a game having made a comfortable dent to my list. I left the game having made a seismic erosion. And this is how the journey to gamechagerville began.
First, I got really excited that the score board turns into a happy board during breaks. Y’know, people ask other people to marry them, that sort of thing. But I saw in it the potential to fulfil an even greater purpose than uniting two people in holy matrimony, the single most important purpose in our lives – the conquering of Americana.
So I asked the usher how I can use the board for good. She smiled, got excited, nodded and suggested I speak to the concierge on the second floor. So Carmen the lovely concierge on the second floor, smiled, got excited and suggested I speak to the folk on the ground floor. She warned me that messages are finalised way before the games, and they cost a fair bit of money. But she saw that the sparkle in my eyes could soon turn to a stream, so she ran downstairs with me behind her, and asked the wonderful Mitzi and Curtis in services what they thought the board could do for me.
Mitzi and Curtis had bigger things in mind than just putting a few words in six foot letters on a board that’s beamed across America. No, they were thinking so far outside the box they were in a parallel universe. They merely suggested that I get in touch with a few of their best players, y’know baseball’s equivalent of David Beckham, Wayne Rooney and Pele. And they only went and gave me a few contacts. And I’m only going to ask them if they could give me a hand.
But that isn’t the seismic shift I wanted to tell you about, that’s just sort of what geophysicists would call radiated elastic seismic waves. And it all happened when I was settling back down to the game.
Two charming ladies sat down next to me. One charming lady AKA Lou asked to take a closer look at the to do list that was practically pinned to my forehead. You have to understand that when most people take a look at the list they get excited, ask how long I have, and then look at me pityingly. But not Lou, it turns out that she knows everyone in the world. She also has a float at gay pride, where I could (finger crossed) become prom queen. She also happens to know a cheerleading squad, a Dolly Parton tribute band and people at an Hispanic channel that might help me get onto a telenovela. And Amy, the other charming lady, happens to be in a band that’s playing a gig in four days’ time. So how many birds is that with one stone? Frankly I’ve lost count.
I think that constitutes as being lovely and awesome and bodacious all at the same time.