Do you know Dolly Parton?
Do you know anyone who’s Dolly Parton… or might be her on the weekends?
So if I want to be Dolly Parton for the day the possibilities are either:
- transfiguration like Harry Potter, but frankly it’s labour intensive and I don’t have the spell.
- cloning, but the other Dolly already tried that. Although it worked perfectly for her between 1996 – 2003, I don’t have time to deal with the extra body hair.
- plastic surgery, probably my best option, but I don’t have the funds and I only want to be Dolly P for the day, not the rest of my life.
So I’m facing up to theses cold, harsh realities and looking for a work-around solution.
I am going to play around with official routes. Such as a comprehensive database of DP impersonators from Alaska to Wyoming, via Maine, Delaware and Nebraska.
But really I’m relying on the failsafe method of randomly bumping into someone at the 22 bus stop on Haight and Filmore, who happens to be her nephew’s babysitter’s best friend. Failing that I’m going to go to a great big dressing-up box / store in Haight to see who they know.
What are my chances?