Why?

Why am I doing this?

When I was growing up, there weren’t many existential eight year olds. Unlike me, the other children didn’t think that the Communist Manifesto was a popular bedtime story. No, my colleagues at Chalgrove JMI school were interested in gummy bears, sesame streets and a rock in the county of Fraggle.

It was clear that I’d have to tackle the advantages of my upbringing head on. But with my background, what hope did I have of remedying my low-brow deficit disorder?

Well, my saviour was television. I gave it my soul and in return it gave me the Ewings, Zac and Tiffany, Degrassi High, Blossom, The Wonder Years. Lessons in survival, filial duty, platonic love, Friends, emergency room procedures and how to wear a scrunchie.

And if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that America is the land of opportunities, a place where anything is possible. Surely that includes 28 year-old prom queens?

Advertisement