Why am I doing this?
It was clear that I’d have to tackle the advantages of my upbringing head on. But with my background, what hope did I have of remedying my low-brow deficit disorder?
Well, my saviour was television. I gave it my soul and in return it gave me the Ewings, Zac and Tiffany, Degrassi High, Blossom, The Wonder Years. Lessons in survival, filial duty, platonic love, Friends, emergency room procedures and how to wear a scrunchie.
And if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that America is the land of opportunities, a place where anything is possible. Surely that includes 28 year-old prom queens?